I’ve been watching James Bond movies since I was a kid. This weekend instead of working on my writing (most of my strange hobbies can be directly traced to procrastinating about writing), I re-watched Die Another Day (I’m a bit of a sucker for Pierce Brosnan films so those are the only Bond movies I own). Since I’d seen it before (earlier that day, if I’m being perfectly honest), I watched it with the M16 DataStream, which turned out to be little captions that display bits of trivia.
A couple of the captions mentioned Bond books by Kingsley Amis. One of the books was The Book of Bond, or Every Man His Own 007, which is a tongue-in-cheek guide to living like 007. Apparently the first edition has its own disguise: the dust jacket can be turned inside out, in which case the book appears to be entitled The Bible Revised to be Read as Literature.
Of course, with a description like that I had to go and hunt down the book. I found it at my local university, but sadly that library removes all the book jackets from their collection so I didn’t have the chance to see the book’s disguise.
The book is a quick little read (111 pages) and is written in the second person (addresses the reader as ‘you’), which is something that you don’t see very often, but in this case it works because the book instructs you, the reader, on how to be (or pretend to be) 007. If you’re too old to pull that off, there are instructions for being ‘M’, and if you’re too female for that there are instructions for being a Bond girl.
All of the instructions are backed up with references in the margin to the Ian Fleming book and chapter where that particular behaviour or fact was noted, so there was actually quite a bit of work put into this book.
I found myself wondering if the actors that are recruited to play 007 are given this book to read. I ran across a particular passage that makes me think that the writers, at least, definitely read this book. In the Drink chapter, under Cocktails, is this little gem:
The Vesper. You will have to instruct the bartender or waiter specifically, as follows: Take three measures of Gordon’s gin, one measure of vodka, half a measure of Lillet vermouth. Shake very well until ice-cold. Serve in deep champagne goblet with large thin slice of lemon peel.
While this is being concocted, explain to your companion that when on a job you never have more than one drink before dinner. But you do like that one to be large and very strong and very cold and very well made. You hate small portions of anything, particularly when they taste bad.
When the drink arrives, take a long sip and tell the barman it’s excellent, but would be even better made with a grain-base vodka that with a potato-base one.
Now, the reason that this caught my eye is because I had recently re-watched Casino Royale (the new one
According to Bookfinder.com, The Book of Bond ranks high in the list of top selling out-of-print books in 2007. Guess I’m not the only one who watches the special features on Bond DVDs after all. The Book of Bond is a quick little read with understated British humour.
